The “THIS LEAGUE!” Trades in the NFL We Want to See at the Deadline

The NFL trade deadline is Tuesday, and of the major sports, it always feels like the least climactic; it’s primarily pass rush and secondary depth and occasionally the receivers on expiring contracts that are moved, whereas the NBA is a plethora of “THIS LEAGUE!” posts when a Shams Charania tweet comes out that a disgruntled superstar has been moved and the MLB has the summer Hot Stove.

It’s more difficult to change the fate of a season with a trade that gives up future assets, so fewer moves are made, but we can always wish-cast moves that could actually be entertaining that teams should, in theory, be doing.

All of these are likely narrative pipe dreams, but we simply need some of these players to be freed from their spots, which would make the season even more of a Netflix original that Roger Goodell has cooked up in the lab. It always appears that the only team willing to do trades is the Philadelphia Eagles, who end up with the inevitable “Howie Roseman has done it again!” posts from everyone in NFL media.

That being said, here are some theoretical “THIS LEAGUE!” level trades that we’re going to will into existence.

Bobby Wagner to the Seattle Seahawks

Following Sunday Night Football, the Seahawks obliterated the Commanders to cement themselves as legitimate contenders in the NFL, and Sam Darnold has more than proven that he’s more than just a miracle season in Minnesota. The Seahawks have one of the youngest defenses in the NFL that is hungry, so now that Bobby Wagner is on what could be his final year playing for a nonexistent Commanders defense, this would be the “Damian Lillard back to Portland to be a coach” level reunion that we need as they look to make some noise in the postseason and have his a voice in that locker room.

Alvin Kamara to the Minnesota Vikings

The New Orleans Saints’ season is effectively dead now that they’ve tried both Spencer Rattler and Tyler Shough and have been obliterated no matter who is under center. There was a time when Alvin Kamara was one of the most threatening receiving running backs in the league, who gave Drew Brees so much insurance to dump it off to him in space, and now the veteran is just sadly fumbling on a losing team.

Let’s get him to Minnesota —they’re fourth in the NFC North, have survived the quarterback questions thus far, and have a bottom-10 rushing offense. That sort of insurance would do wonders as a safety blanket as JJ McCarthy matures. (Also, those Kamara dreads in the purple would be so sweet. He was built for that jersey.)

Maxx Crosby to the New England Patriots

Who’s in first place in the AFC East? Not the Buffalo Bills- that’s right, the New England Patriots and sophomore quarterback Drake Maye. For the Patriots, who have the most cap space in the league and a quarterback on a rookie contract, the time to strike is now.

Credit: Stephen R. Sylvanie-Imagn Images

The Raiders are simply OUT of it despite having Maxx Crosby, one of the most prolific pass rushers and AVAILABLE pass rushers in the league, who is simply always on the field. Maye has been handling the offense seamlessly under Josh McDaniels, and no one is more of a Mike Vrabel junkyard dog guy than Maxx Crosby to put their defense over the top. Could shadow Patriots GM Tom Brady of the Raiders do his old team a solid?

Tua Tagovailoa to the Las Vegas Raiders

Speaking of the Raiders, it’s clear Geno is not the guy, and the quarterback carousel in Vegas is starting yet again. There’s been absolutely no consistency there since that one time Derek Carr was an MVP candidate before breaking his leg.

Tua is young, desperate, and the dead Dolphins are trying to rip the band-aid off from his big money deal. Las Vegas has proven with their fired coaches and willingness to try anything that money is not an object!

AJ Brown to the Jacksonville Jaguars

One more disgruntled AJ Brown cryptic post about not getting the ball despite already getting paid is going to get him shipped out of town. The Eagles wouldn’t see the Jaguars as a threat.

With Travis Hunter and Brian Thomas Jr. both out for Trevor Lawrence, they reek of a team that could make yet another desperate move in an AFC South where the Texans could possibly have a dead season, and the Colts finally looked beatable on Sunday. Brown would certainly get a lot of targets there; how accurate they are from Lawrence remains to be seen!

Jameis Winston to the Washington Commanders

Jayden Daniels tragically went down with a brutal twist of the knife elbow injury in Washington’s beatdown on Sunday Night.

In his sophomore year, he had already missed some time previously, where we saw Marcus Mariota cover for him in losses in his stead, but the reality that Jameis Winston is wasting away somewhere in New York as the third stringer for Mike Kafka when we could at least get his entertainment value getting the ball to Deebo, win or lose, is unacceptable.