The MLB All-Star Lineup, By Character

MLB All-Star Game ballots have officially been released.

It may very well be the last remaining All-Star weekend getaway with some meaningful, watchworthy sports content, despite no longer determining home-field advantage in the World Series (which was a bit comical looking back on it).

There’s pageantry and something kind of special watching the stars play in this one, where the ball players still approach it like they’re playing a kids’ game as opposed to it being a media obligation where they could have just been in Cancun.

There are still parts of it that are a sham. There are snubs because every team needs a representative. People stuff the ballots for players that they just like. For some reason, you can only vote for batters. The first stat that comes up is batting average (fix this, MLB!), and some just vote for who would be the most exciting to watch rather than the best players.

It’s all subjective. The baseball season kind of operates like a storybook with characters and memories that define the year for you. What we’re going to do is construct our All-Star ballots of the most defining CHARACTERS of 2026 so far; that doesn’t mean the best players.

For example, the Brewers and Dodgers operate as complete machines and cogs that make up their Fortune 500 factory of success; that doesn’t necessarily mean you have a lot of defining character-level memories of them, despite them being two of the best teams in the league.

This is the All-Star Lineup of Characters.

CATCHER // Dillon Dingler (Detroit Tigers) and Ivan Herrera (St. Louis Cardinals)

The Tigers have had a season that’s ultimately been a nightmare thus far in a Tarik Skubal “one last ride” year. The question going into the year in which they had the highest odds to win their division was whether or not an incredibly young offensive lineup could give the pitching staff some help and make the leap. Despite what feels like a lost year, Dingler has done exactly that in a ballpark that’s incredibly challenging to put up runs in and leads catchers in homers. His ascendancy has been one of the few bright spots that can remind Tiger fans that the team is still very young, and even with Skubal’s departure, that won’t keep them from bouncing back next year.

The Cardinals are having the opposite sort of season, where we had absolutely no expectations going into the year, and they’ve never wavered aside from having the tarps off and having young bats like Ivan Herrera make magic happen at the plate. He’s 26, aging like a fine wine as his on-base has only gone up with each week in the season, and the steadfast organization has found their Yadi replacement.

FIRST BASE // Nick Kurtz (Las Vegas/Sacramento Athletics) and Matt Olson (Atlanta Braves)

Watching Nick Kurtz come up to the plate at just 23 years old and a towering 6’5 coming off a year where he slugged 36 homers is like watching Paul Bunyun walk up with an axe. He’s managed to be even more plate-disciplined this year. Even though the A’s are likely going to give up a million runs in the process, Kurtz’s offensive production, where you see the ball fly out of the sandbox he plays in, could be the catalyst to take them to a wild-card spot as he rounds out into the complete offensive package.

Matt Olson? Yeah, he’s still doing what Matt Olson was brought in to do and is likely what Nick Kurtz wants to be when he’s 32. The Braves being the best team in the NL has everything to do with Matt Olson being the iron man in the lineup that never misses games and allows them to win even in the most boring of fashions before clubbing a ball into the chop house with a golf swing.

SECOND BASE // Travis Bazzana (Cleveland Guardians) and Otto Lopez (Miami Marlins)

The story of second base? Sure, he’s only been in the majors for a little over half of the season, but for Travis Bazzana to step up as their top draft pick midyear and be as-advertised is the testament as to why this Cleveland team is the most talented it’s been since their 2016 World Series appearance. His call-up was a “oh, they got another one” moment. He had a 0-17 stretch in his rookie year, but steals bases at an elite rate and is as competent from the head up as can be for a rookie. He’s the man you want to watch in the AL at this position.

Remember when the story at the beginning of the NL East season was “Well, is it going to be the Braves, Phillies, or Mets?” The big market teams that have been there and done that? Don’t let the youth, perpetual tanking, and empty ballpark fool you! The Marlins quietly have the best record in June, and the best hitter in baseball is OTTO LOPEZ! This is the club that got rid of the on-base king, Luis Arraez- Lopez gets a multi-hit game and steals a bag every game! We keep waiting for the season to be a fluke after he hit .300 for the first month of the year, and he only IMPROVED! Lopez and Xavier Edwards are the infield of the future in South Beach.

SHORTSTOP // Bobby Witt Jr. (Kansas City Royals) and CJ Abrams (Washington Nationals)

Aaron Judge is going to be on the IL for an extended period. Cal Raleigh has been out and was in one of the biggest slumps we’d ever seen from someone of his caliber beforehand. Shohei Ohtani is now in the National League. The last non-Judge or Ohtani AL MVP? Jose Abreu with the White Sox in the shortened 2020 COVID year. He hasn’t played since 2024. The time for Bobby Witt Jr., the franchise guy and who we deem as the ultimate five-tool player in Kansas City, to get an MVP is now. KC has the worst record in the American League, and he STILL racks up the most WAR in baseball because of his defensive prowess at shortstop. All eyes are on Bobby Witt the rest of the year in the AL on a losing team this year- he may be this generation’s Mike Trout until KC gets it together, and it’ll be up to the voting committee how much winning matters if no one else steps up.

In the NL, how about CJ Abrams? This guy was literally missing games for gambling at casinos until dawn and was reportedly going to be traded to the Giants this offseason as an underperforming prospect. Suddenly, Abrams is the superstar “Alien” his nickname makes him out to be, and carrying the Nationals to a potential wild card as he’s top 5 in RBI. 

NL OUTFIELD // Michael Harris II (Atlanta Braves), Jordan Walker (St. Louis Cardinals), Pete Crow-Armstrong (Chicago Cubs)

The Braves went the route of extending everyone on their roster they thought was worth keeping early, and the one they banked the most on was Michael Harris II as the stud center fielder. In the first half of last year, he was the worst-qualified hitter in baseball. He bounced back last year after the Braves were already mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, and now his bat and stardom that’s carried into this year have been the missing piece. He’s the story of the Braves’ offense.

Jordan Walker? You mean the top prospect monster of a man, whom we kept criticizing the Cardinals for giving and taking away chances from? The man is just 24. Maybe it took some time to put it together, but he’s here, and he’s tremendous. The man is your RBI leader with 18 home runs and has proven it’s not just a hot start with how he’s carried himself this season, and will only get better.

PCA is also here. That doesn’t mean he’s a better hitter than Andy Pages has been this season, because he hasn’t, but because of the rise of his polarization and bat-out-of-hell style play, he’s arguably the most eyes-on-me player in baseball. He’s like Peter Parker learning the extent of his powers, where he’ll make one of the most acrobatic center field plays you’ve ever seen, and then lose a ball, and then strike out, and then smack a walk-off home run and yell at White Sox fans afterward. The roller coaster of PCA is a ride that we are all on, whether we like it or not.

AL OUTFIELD // Randy Arozarena (Seattle Mariners), Byron Buxton (Minnesota Twins),  Mike Trout (Los Angeles Angels)

All of our AL outfielders are pleasant surprises to start the year! Mike Trout and Byron Buxton have both traditionally been made of glass and paper and have been on losing franchises; the losing hasn’t necessarily stopped for the Twins and the Angels, but these the Buck Truck and Trout are on the field and playing consistently! Trout is getting on base and has 15 homers, and happy in center field, Buxton is hitting homers into the second deck, and all is right for two guys who we’ve rooted for to stay healthy and be on the field and get in a winning situation (but they’re too nice to ask out…)

I think we sort of just forgot about Randy Arozarena after he went from being the best hitter alive on the Rays in the World Series and lighting up the World Baseball Classic to just having to hit in the abyss that is the Seattle Pacific Northwest air.

Make no mistake about it. Randy, the coolest to ever do it, is still here. And he’s still doing it. A superstar Randy takes this pitching staff in Seattle to another level, given Raleigh’s slow start.*

*Randy did end up landing on the IL right after this commencement. Get well soon, Mr. Coolest to Ever Do It.

DH // Yordan Alvarez (Houston Astros) and Shohei Ohtani (Los Angeles Dodgers)

They’re the obvious picks, but they’re the right picks. Even in a down year for the Astros, Yordan transcends the value of “he’s just a DH” if he’s going to go up and club a homer with a bat that he makes look like a whiffle ball bat.

Ohtani? Even when he’s been more must-see as a pitcher this year, you don’t ever want to take him and what he’s doing for granted. Get them on TV as much as possible. The story is never overdone.