MLB Trading Intangibles Deadline

The MLB Trade Deadline is August 3rd at 6:00 PM ET.

The cycle of news for the past several weeks has been a combination of “Here are some MASSIVE trade deadline candidates!” as well as “This trade deadline is going to be a snoozer because of the impending lockout and only several teams are truly out of it.”

In the years when we have high expectations for trade deadlines in sports, it’s usually the latter. With the expanded postseason, owners just won’t give up having a star on their billboard the rest of the year and the possibility of making some extra revenue from postseason games.

There will at least be a plethora of micro moves. Everything else is a wash. 

All of the top two contenders in each division are posturing and wishing they could simply have something to get them to October to posture for the premier position. Predicting trades of the actual players is moot fodder, so what we’ll do is psychoanalyze each team’s jealousy.

What is one thing that they wish they could take from the other team in their division?

This is your MLB Trading Intangibles Deadline.

Chicago Cubs to the Milwaukee Brewers: The Wrigley Magic

This is not to disparage American Family Field and the proud Brew Crew fans of Milwaukee, but it really feels like the Cubs have voodoo magic that occurs at Wrigley Field that works in their favor. There are the bleacher creatures, there’s the “Go Cubs Go” song with a ton of fans flying the W, and it’s resulted in a 30-22 home record and the most home come-from-behind wins of any team.

The Brewers need that sort of magic since they’ve been on the opposite end of that in October.

Milwaukee Brewers to the Chicago Cubs: Stability

The Cubs ARE chaos. They need to learn to be normal. They’ve stayed in the fight despite not having more than two starters healthy all year. PCA will make some of the most amazing defense plays and also have a complete blunder minutes later. They’ve had streaks of double-digit wins and double-digit losses. It’s a roller coaster that probably drives fans nuts.

The Brewers? They’re the model of stability. They lose players left and right each offseason, where we doubt them, and without fail they’re atop the NL Central because of base-running, maximizing what they have, and a smart plate approach. The Cubs need some of that so they don’t get too high or too low and can win in boring ways when they need to.

New York Yankees to the Tampa Bay Rays: IMPOSING FEAR

We doubt the Rays every single year. There’s something about the computer-based small market team playing in the empty-looking Trop that makes us prefer the other AL East teams in preseason projections.

The Yankee pinstripes, for some reason, can impose fear on the opposition. The Rays deserve to be feared as a team for how dominant they’ve been throughout the regular season and as a team that may be buying big at the deadline for the first time.

Tampa Bay Rays to the New York Yankees: The Absence of Urgency

If there are problems in Tampa, you’ve never heard of them. The Yankees, in a window where Judge and Stanton and Cole are all fragile and are no longer spring chickens, have an urgency to win as soon as possible. It’s a pressure-cooker where Rome has fallen, and Boone needs to be fired if there’s a losing streak that’s four or greater.

Every superstar gets photoshopped into pinstripes and needs to be a Yankee to improve the roster if someone on the team is underperforming and needs to be traded. The Yanks need calm nerves and to just get to October.

Atlanta Braves to the Philadelphia Phillies: Maximizing Depth When Being Shorthanded

The Atlanta Braves somehow still lead the NL East and have used 7 catchers this season, have gotten less than 2 months of Ronald Acuna Jr., and are using just about any pitcher they can find to play behind Chris Sale, Grant Holmes, and Bryce Elder. They’ve had to go deep into the well to get any production from the marginal players as possible, and they usually do!

The Phillies, on the other hand, have struck out on getting any talent at all from anyone not named Harper, Schwarber, or Marsh in the lineup and just have a 3-man death rotation. It’s a stars-and-scrubs team where you wish you’d get a random “Wow! Bryson Stott went off tonight!” game.

Philadelphia Phillies to the Atlanta Braves: Rising Vibes and Consistent Health

The Phillies, despite being labeled as the aging roster going for their “one last hurrah” contending season, have only gotten healthier, Adolis Garcia aside. In addition, the managerial switch has made them trend upward under Mattingly, with the Bank back to being the stadium that rocks.

The Braves only get thinner as the year goes on and went from a scorching April and May to an abysmal June. The arrow needs to be pointing up on both fronts like it is for their divisional counterpart.

Chicago White Sox to the Cleveland Guardians: Acting Like They Haven’t Been There Before

The Chicago White Sox play with their hair on fire. That’s probably because they’re the fourth-youngest team in the league, they have a first-year manager with something to prove, and they were only projected to win 67.5 games this year. It’s been a long time coming for a team that now has the Pope on their side, as well as a roster built from prospects gained from years of perpetual losing and selling.

The Guardians need that sort of fire because they’re just as young as the White Sox! Yet somehow there’s no spark or fire from the roster. It could be the cycle of this team having successful regular seasons where Jose Ramirez is top 3 in MVP voting only to get shelled by the Yankees, but this Guardians team needs to play like they’re discovering their superpowers to go on a huge win streak where they play with their hair down like they did last year to sneak into the postseason. It hasn’t looked like they’ve had fun.

Cleveland Guardians to the Chicago White Sox: Maturity From the System

The other side of that coin is that the White Sox have not accumulated any battle scars just yet. There are maybe two people on the White Sox with some decent postseason experience, and their names are Andrew Benintendi and Randal Grichuk.

Chicago would benefit from some voices in the clubhouse that have been there and done that before to calm the nerves in the same way that you’ll see Cleveland keep guys like Austin Hedges around or add Rhys Hoskins. They’re still punching upwards.

Los Angeles Dodgers to the Arizona Diamondbacks: Stability at the End of Games

Ironically, the Diamondbacks’ problem has been that they have had maybe the least bullpen production and investment of any team in the Hazen era, and this year the problem has been the lineup. That being said, there is still an element of Diamondbacks chaos: no consistency from the starting pitching, and games will go off the rails toward the end.

The Dodgers have taken advantage of any sort of miscue a team will make and can come from behind and win any game necessary. They’re deep enough to cover up mistakes.

Arizona Diamondbacks to the Los Angeles Dodgers: Watchability and Excitement

Somehow, the Dodgers have Shohei Ohtani, Mookie Betts, Freddie Freeman, Kyle Tucker, and Yoshinobu Yamamoto with resources galore in one of the premier ballparks with the best record in the league, and have you ever been compelled to consider their game “must-see-TV” on the days where Shohei Ohtani is no longer pitching? They will be come October, but they’re Kansas City Chief-ing the regular season and going ho hum about it.

There’s never been a time where we just see Mookie Betts go 4-5 with a triple and a homer or Kyle Tucker even make his presence known at all. Diamondbacks games could consist of two triples and a homer in a pool in the eighth inning alone. Do something, LA! Make us hate you, make us want to watch you, anything.

Texas Rangers and Seattle Mariners: “We Don’t Want Anything From You, Actually.”

Someone HAS to win this division, apparently. Do the Rangers want anything from the Mariners? Probably not. Do the Mariners want anything from the Rangers? Not necessarily. They’re both hovering around .500 all year and just praying Yordan Alvarez doesn’t sneak up on them in Houston like Michael Myers with a knife.

I guess Seattle can take Texas’s barbecue, and Texas can take some rain in the summer to cool off.